THE BLOG
06/06/2007 12:00 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

There is No Republican Party Anymore

If there were, John McCain would be getting all the attention. Last night he almost pulled off a Bill. McCain's got horrible ideas and his policies stink, but at least he's actually a Republican. He's even a war hero! But that's not good enough anymore. Even the military has turned on the GOP. So McCain isn't good enough for The Base; the wingnuts who think women are symbols, not equals to be respected, with immigrants the devil at the door.

If the Republican Party still existed, you wouldn't have used car salesmen like Mitt Romney in third place, taken seriously at all. I keep waiting for him to start handing out cash.

If the GOP had any principles left, Rudy Giuliani wouldn't be leading in the polls. Rudy Giuliani? This guy is pro-choice and pro-gay rights. Barry Goldwater didn't reach that level until he was out of the Senate, disowned by Republicans, and close to leaving the planet railing at the right-wing who ruined his beloved party. Rudy Giuliani, who married his cousin, has had three marriages, with his kids still not speaking to him and refusing to endorse him, because their father humiliated their mother in public at a political press conference. The man has no respect for women and never has, with his judgment somewhere beneath Dick Cheney's.

The Republican Party may exist in name and it may represent the second national party, but in principle it is no more.

This has always been the land of opportunity, with immigrants like my ancestors willing to die to come to America. To Republicans, that shining city on a hill has a gate, guard dogs and men standing at attention armed with guns to make sure only the select get in. What's your talent, mister?

In the age of John F. Kennedy we went to the moon.

Today, the Republican Party believes the earth was created in seven days. Seven days, though at least these men admit they weren't there when it happened. Science is for fools, let the local school board vote it out. It's not our problem. If Rudy or Mitt becomes president, evolution will go the way of habeas corpus.

Oh, and while we're at it, bring on the nukes, for power, to pummel the Iranians, nukes, nukes, nukes, tactical nukes. Yeah, baby.

And people wonder why Ron Paul is asked on The Daily Show. We at least recognize what he represents. The Constitution, oh, how quaint.

Andrew Sullivan is right, it was John McCain's night. He had his moment. He explained why the immigration bill is a place to start. I don't like it either, but he stood up, standing for something, not whatever will seduce The Base. However, according to CNN meters registering reaction by potential GOP voters, McCain's score couldn't have been lower. The creationists have spoken. White is right. Mighty whitey rules and he ain't gonna push no "1" for English.

No Republican Party anymore.

What replaces it I don't recognize. It even scares me a little. One of The White Guys, I think it was Duncan Hunter, said it was important to win back the Reagan Democrats. Kiss that goodbye and get a grip, man. It's a topic I know something about and I wouldn't vote for one of these men if they waterboarded me. I'd rather go down with a glug-glug-glug, or strap me to a rocket and send me flying to Fanatoland. Because Reagan is not represented in today's Republican Party.

I listened to his second coming, Fred Thompson, on Hannity & Colmes, the guy who is supposed to be Reagan or something, who worked to get Scooter Libby off. Never mind that Libby lied to the F.B.I. about helping spread the identity of a C.I.A. agent working covertly on WMDs, trying to save this country from the enemies the Republicans tout every day. Doesn't matter to the GOP today. Yep, no Republican Party anymore at all. But that didn't keep them from winning with Bush. Scare the hell out of people long enough and they'll follow you anywhere.

That's it! It's like Friday date night at high school. The Base wants a big White Guy to protect them from The Enemy, so to perpetuate the myth they have to keep coming up with that same scary story line every time. It's election time movie season, complete with a scary plot, big White Guy hero, and a bunch of lily livered ladies ready to grab hold of the closest arm and say, "Save me! Save me!"

Liberty and bravery have left the building.

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