06/25/2013 05:22 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Winner's Circle: I Adopted A Baby At 51

Women Win When They Choose Their Own Path

Marriage. Solitude. Pants. Skirts. Blue. Pink. CEO. Bar hopper.

Whatever the path, whatever the choice, today's woman owns her decisions and reaps the benefits. Gone are the days when women forced themselves to align with an outsider's perception of what a woman should look like. Today's woman has broken free from all constraints and lives life out loud triumphantly celebrating her decision to define herself for herself and is happier every day because of it.

Let's celebrate with women like Lorne Holden, a 57-year-old author and filmmaker who defied her biological clock by adopting a baby at the age of 51.


"I lived only briefly really out of synch with myself," Holden remembered. "I got out of college and went to work in an office because that's what I thought grown-ups were supposed to do. But always in the late afternoons, I would find myself looking out the window, envying my friends who were waiting tables and being artists." Burdened by her lazy afternoon fantasies, she took the leap at 26 and become an artist. She soon looked around in wonder as she found herself dancing professionally for a company in France.

Although she enjoyed the artist's lifestyle, her biggest, bravest decision -- developing the courage to adopt a baby on her own -- didn't happen until she was nearly 51. "I simply got tired of waiting for a man to share my journey," Holden shared. "I was ready and I thought, 'Mister Right seems to be running late, so I'll just start the party without him.'"

She made a strategic decision to only talk to people she knew would support her. At the time, having people in her corner who would affirm her choice was very important yet, basking in the afterglow of what has been the best and most important decision of her life, she now wonders why she cared what anyone else thought about her choice.

In order to make her dream come true, Holden contacted an online adoption agency. After no response to her initial email, she tried again and received a reply from an adoption agent that was both encouraging and heartwarming: "I was so moved by her letter to me that I thought 'If I can do this with HER, then I can do this.' And I did."

Holden recognizes that adopting a baby as a single woman in her 50's breaks literally every rule of patriarchy, so she isn't surprised that her decision ruffles people's feathers:

What I find most interesting is that my son and I are truly, deeply happy and sometimes it bothers people that we are that happy without a man in the family. I find this odd and a little hilarious. The power of Mother Love is really indescribable, but any woman who is a mother knows what I mean. The most important thing in my life is my son and when I look up outside at night, I imagine my love has exploded open and filled the sky with all those stars.

By being a woman who was daring enough to choose her own path, Holden has summoned her dream life into her reality. Although there were naysayers along the way, she offers this advice to women who are unsure about their next step: "Surround yourself with people who know that, beyond living outside the box, there is no box and you just go right ahead and make up your reality," Holden encouraged. "In doing so, you will be living your truth and thus by example offering other women reason to dare."

To read more about women who choose their own path and are winning in life because of their brave decisions browse through The Winner's Circle on MySavvySisters.Com.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

Older Boomers Adopting