THE BLOG
09/24/2014 11:05 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Search for Happiness

Ilya Bushuev via Getty Images

Looking through Facebook recently, I came across one of those motivational memes. Nothing really out of the ordinary, no cats, no little saplings trying to become great big trees. Just a little saying: "You are responsible for your own happiness." It's a simple concept really, but sadly, not everyone subscribes to this line of thinking.

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I don't know why, but it really struck me. Maybe because Facebook is so full of people whining about sh*t. "Oh I'm so broke. My boyfriend's a douche. My wife is a cheater. My kids are assholes. I hate paying bills. My car is a piece of sh*t."

So much unpleasantness. Who is responsible for making your life pleasant? Do you rely on your husband/boyfriend/wife to make you happy? Well, if you do, and if you're unhappy still, you're the dummy. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if your happiness is solely reliant on someone else, you need to re-evaluate your life.

When you find yourself in a situation that is unpleasant, think about how you got there. Is your spouse lying or cheating on you? Why are you allowing it? Are your kids assholes? Why are you allowing it? Is your living situation not the best? Make the best of it. I know it sounds easy and I'm really good at talking the talk, but I'm also walking the walk.

I'm happy. I'm a happy person. Why? Because I don't rely on those around me to make me happy. I love my family, and I love my friends. And they are wonderful. If they weren't wonderful, I'd do something about it. If my husband was an ass, I wouldn't be with him. If my friends weren't awesome, why would I have them as my friends? I hate drama. I avoid drama at all. effing. cost. If I find myself in a job that I hate, I look for something else, something that I don't hate. Something that doesn't bring me down or make me feel awful.

If there are people around me who are constantly bitching and kvetching about how awful things are, I try to distance myself, because who the hell needs that kind of negativity? I'm a firm believer that change comes from within. Nobody makes you who you are, only you have that power. And if you give that power to someone else, you have no right to bitch and complain about your situation, because you have allowed it to happen.

Exceptions abound, I know that. I'm not talking here about those who are ill or suffer from depression. I'm talking about those who need someone else to create their happiness, those who downright depend on someone else to ensure that they are happy.

If you aren't happy, do something about it. Make the change. Take back that power. Don't just sit there and whine about it, do something. Because as Hallmark as it sounds, you are responsible for your own happiness.