09/26/2013 11:59 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

9 Wedding Bummers You're Not Allowed To Freak Out About

By: Simone Hill for

You want to exchange vows on top of a mountain in the middle of Montana or hand-make everything including the soy candles? Do it. Those are the details and ideas that make your wedding day special and memorable for years to come. But all those personal and untraditional choices sometimes come with their own setbacks. Here a few of the most common untraditional planning choices couples make and the bummers that go with them.

1. You're having a destination wedding and a good number of family and friends can't make it.


Between flights, hotels, babysitters, gifts and time off work, going to a destination wedding adds up quickly. Instead of feeling rejected, focus on the guests who are flying out for your wedding. After the wedding, make a plan a time to catch up with those guests who couldn't make it to share photos from the wedding day. Think of it as another reason to celebrate!

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2. You didn't register for many gifts because you prefer cash, but you ended up with a bunch of unexpected gifts.


If you're only including a small registry in the hopes that guests will take the hint and gift cash instead, you shouldn't be surprised if you receive unexpected presents. Some people might not get the hint and others don't feel comfortable giving cash so they'll try to pick out something they think that you'll really love. Accept the gift gracefully, send a thank-you note and quietly return the gift if they included a receipt to buy something you want instead.

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3. You want to DIY your whole wedding but no one has offered to help.


You imagine your wedding to be filled with handmade details (great!), but the reality is that crafting each part of your wedding takes a lot of work. Not everyone will have time to spend hours on end making amazing DIY projects for the wedding. Instead, ask specific people you know are good at something (like your maid-of-honor who's awesome at calligraphy) to help you with a specific project that uses their skill, like the invitation envelopes. Then, schedule DIY sessions out on your calendar for weekends and weeknights to ensure you allot more than enough time to get it all done. Let your bridesmaids know the days you'll be working on projects and if they want to help, offer to buy the wine!

4. You're having your wedding on a Sunday but you found out that a lot of guests are going to have to leave early.


Planning a wedding on a weekday or Sunday will save you money on your venue and catering. There's not doubt about that. If you're going this route though, know that most people won't be able to party until the wee hours of the morning because they have to get ready for work on Monday. If the crowd starts to thin around 9 or 10 p.m. enjoy your time with the remaining guests or head to an after-hours spot to hang with the guests who took the Monday off!

5. You're doing food trucks and appetizers instead of a big seated dinner and now your parents are freaking out.


If you're looking at creative catering options then food trucks or heavy appetizer meals are a fun way for guests to taste a variety of foods and mingle while they eat. At first, your mom and dad might not seem thrilled at the thought of guests grabbing their dinner from a truck. Look at it from their point of view, when they were getting married wedding dinners were much more traditional, which may make it hard for them to get used to the idea. Make sure to serve one of their favorite familiar food options in addition and they'll come around.

6. You're doing a first look and now the hair and makeup timeline is crunched.


First looks make for amazing album-worthy photo ops, and are the perfect time for the couple to have a quiet moment together before the wedding gets underway. If you want to get all the pictures in without feeling rushed then you'll have to move up your hair and makeup timeline, and that may mean waking up early or that you don't have time to enjoy the mimosas and brunch with your bridesmaids before you start getting ready. On the flip-side it does mean you'll be able to enjoy more of the cocktail hour with your guests because you'll already have most of your photos out of the way!

7. You're serving signature cocktails (the kind that sneak up on you) and a few of your guests get especially drunk.


A specialty cocktail bar is sure to be a hit with guests and can totally tie in with your theme. But just like any party, when cocktails are so tasty, you can't taste the alcohol, you can get a few over-indulgers. So if uncle Bob gets a little sloshed on the dance floor, don't let it ruin your night. And if you're worried about any particular guests making a scene, do some damage control early by asking a friend or relative to watch over them that night (and get them home safely).

8. Your friend is officiating and the ceremony doesn't go exactly as planned.


Having someone close to you officiate the wedding will make the ceremony feel even more intimate and personalized, but remember they're not a pro. So maybe the ceremony has a few awkward moments or someone stumbles over their lines. Totally fine! Sometimes a little spontaneity can create the best memories, and you chose your friend to officiate because of your relationship, not because they're going to do it perfectly.

9. You send out your wedding hashtag and guests start tagging you in unflattering photos.


Wedding hashtags are genius. But sometimes guests will get so excited about sharing that they might not realize the photo of you getting low on the after-party dance floor isn't exactly what you had in mind for Facebook. Don't sweat it though. By the time you get your professional photos back, there will be so many photos of the two of you that no one is going to remember the few unflattering ones.

Bottom line? Don't sweat the bummers. Embrace them and be confident that your wedding is going to be totally unique and you!

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