12/31/2013 12:53 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

A Gay Love Letter Inspired by Phil Robertson

Apparently, Phil Robertson believes that the only thing that makes a heterosexual man straight is the female sex organ. As a gay man, I want to explain to Mr. Robertson that contrary to his assertions in a recent GQ interview that would suggest otherwise, 90 percent of what attracts me to men is above the waist.

Let me explain in pure prose -- a love letter, even -- the beauty of gay attraction as I've known it with absolutely no consideration of the body part that, according to Mr. Robertson's base obsession, must be what I long for and what must make me gay.

Rather than a soliloquy of said orifice, I've strung together a few words about a composite of some of the loves of my youth. I hope my ex-boyfriends read this and know that I have each one of them in mind as I write ...

Ode to Past Loves

It started with your hair. I recall the first time I saw you, the way your golden-brown bangs caught the southern California sunlight and refused to let it go. You were laughing. The contrast of your baby-perfect skin and the shadow of a day's whisker-growth made an irresistible canvas for your broad, white smile. At the same time, your full lips were more pink than red.

Then, you said, "hello." I was surprised to hear the depth of your voice. It came in bass tones that were silky and boyish, while also undeniably masculine. The cliché's true: You had me at hello.

When I saw that our eyes aligned as precisely as did our shoulders, I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to make out with you like I was a teenager again -- for hours or even days. Remember? I didn't mind being vulnerable and telling you that first day; nor do I mind saying so now: You are beautiful.

I think God wants his creations to be beautiful, to find ways of creating more beauty, to do beautiful things for other people. By being with you, I think I helped God express beauty on Earth. By being with you, I felt empowered to share my time and energy with people less fortunate than we were. By being with you, I felt I showed the world that beautiful pairings come in many configurations. By being with you, I feel that I honored my nature -- my natural attraction to another man... a man as beautiful as you are still today.