THE BLOG
01/06/2015 01:42 pm ET Updated Mar 01, 2017

The Ugly Truth About Being Your Own Boss

Enough with the fluff. Here's the stuff NO ONE tells you about entrepreneurship.

While being a freedom seeker and dream chaser certainly has its ups...it's rare that we talk about the parts that make us want to play in New York traffic. And here's why. Most entrepreneurs avoid talking about the fact that they are faking it until they make it. They don't want anyone to know that they aren't really living the dream life. And they surely don't want people to know that they really aren't making 6 figures, yet they have a nerve to have a coaching program promising to teach you to make 6 figures. The irony.

The truth is, most days entrepreneurship is like stepping in hot poo in your brand new peep toe shoes. Scratch that, if you're really a ground-up entrepreneur you can't afford brand new peep toe shoes. The other days being an entrepreneur makes you fall head first in a glass of your finest wine...noooo scratch that, because you can't afford that.

You'll want to take a shower after that, lucky you, because you've likely been at your computer for the last 26 hours nonstop Googling your life away, trying to find the perfect niche or how to make said 6 figures mentioned above. And while you assumed that awful stench was the smell of last night's dinner rotting on the table next to the trash can, it's really you...yep, that stench is you, my friend. So now that you're forced to take a shower, make sure you walk past the ramen noodles that sit stale in a bowl, and throw them out, because at this point in the game ramen noodles is all you can afford. In fact, you've figured out 26 delicious ways to cook this delicate dish. Why? Because all of your money has been spent on the things that in fact can't make you money, such as the office that you don't visit. The webinar that has nothing to do with your niche. The wristbands that you'll give as gifts to your clients...wait, what clients?

Your attitude sucks, and not because you are just an unhappy person, but because you're frustrated. You're tired. You're overwhelmed. You just need a hug. And again, that stench we mentioned above is probably really settling into your couch. You have tons of vision but lack clarity, you lack direction and you're wondering when it will be your time to shine.

Your relationships are starting to deteriorate. No one is as excited as you are about your business, and frankly everyone in your circle is tired of hearing about all your "great ideas". Your significant other "supports" you, but doesn't understand your hustle. You in turn are upset by that lack of understanding, so the thought of you even getting close at night is the furthest thing from your mind. Yep, that's right no hanky panky going on during this stage of you building your new business. Besides, you've probably gained 20 odd pounds from sitting on the couch living the "dream life", so you don't find yourself worthy enough to hank or pank anything. You don't give any time to your kids or social life because you just need to finish that one last thing that ends up lasting for hours. Your 3-year-old just told you, she wants a new mommy. And your teenager just told you, all you do is work. So much for becoming an entrepreneur to be a role model.

In your search for momentum you actually lose yourself...how cliché. And while you're determined to run an authentic business, (whatever the heck that means), you have no idea who you even are right now. You slowly realize that entrepreneurship isn't all rainbows and sunny skies. That Facebook ad going down your timeline LIED! Yes it seems that you, my dear, have been sucked into the vortex of "be your own boss and live the dream life".

You're determined, however. You keep plugging along. Your saved notes on Evernote could be an Ebook by now, because you're busy taking notes and not taking action. You belong to several business groups on Facebook, which is great for collaboration and support. But not so great for comparison which is what you do. I mean who wouldn't compare themselves to the flashy shiny brand and the 6 figure accomplishments. It's easy to do. Especially when you're worried about how next month's bills will get paid, and can't afford a $5 logo on Fiverr.

Any of this sound familiar?

I bet you're wondering, how I can speak so freely about this ugly truth. Well the truth is, in the beginning of 2014, I lived this life. I opened the year working as a Business Development Manager living the American Dream. I was using my degree from a well-known medical university, and making pretty good money. I took the high road to success, the traditional path if you will. But I wasn't happy. I knew that I wanted to change the lives of others through mentorship, leadership and entrepreneurship. I knew that I was more than my position in my 9-5. But I didn't quite know how to walk in my purpose or live the life I had imagined. I dreamed of making every day a Saturday and spending more time with my daughter. The ratio of 40 hours in my job, vs. 15 hours spent with my daughter during the week just didn't sit right with me. So I began my journey into full-time entrepreneurship. I stayed up late nights Googling and researching, only to have to clock in to a job exhausted and tired. I was no longer passionate about my American dream business and instead was dreaming of clocking into my own business. Finally I got the courage to quit my job. I sold myself the dream. Life would be great. I was amped and ready to go.

And then... stuff got real.

I wasn't prepared for the real side of entrepreneurship. Only the fluffy side I saw from everyone else. So I can relate fully with you if you are going through any of the things I mentioned above. Now as a successful business clarity coach, I vowed to help other entrepreneurs skip the middle man of confusion and launch their dream business successfully. Here are a few tips to get you through this confusing and overwhelming time and moving into your fierce fearless freedom.

1. Maintain Your Income: If you haven't quit your job already, stay put. You'll be able to throw the desk and give your boss the finger in due time. But for now, write your plan. Make it plain, and work the heck out of it. Set the timer on your dreams, and when the timer goes off, go full force. Make yourself a 3-6 month action plan, which should include the amount of money you plan to save, as well as focusing on the business you will be transitioning into. If there is an opportunity to start working with clients now, I encourage you to do so. There's nothing better than having an official launch with testimonials, and knowing exactly who you want to work with. If you just HAVE to break up with your 9-5, consider going part time first, and then transitioning out to full time entrepreneurship. Again, write your plan. Make it plain. Now work the heck out of it.

2. Get Clear On Your Why: Your why will be the gravity that keeps you grounded when you want to quit. When you first begin your journey, you will want to have a really clear picture of where you are going and WHY you want to get there. Your WHY is what motivates you, it's the reason you get up out of bed in the morning, and the reason why you stay up late at night. It is the fire that burns in your heart, and it's the same fire that gets you up off of your ass. Take a moment write now and write down your WHY. Is it deep rooted in your heart? Are you in alignment with it? Is it so BIG that it inspires you to keep going when you want to give up?

3. Make A Vision Board: Write your plan and make it plain! Get out your favorite magazine and cut out your vision for the year. What do you want to accomplish in your business? How much money do you want to make? What vacation will you take? Why is this important? You will want to keep your goals in front of you at all time. Not out to the side. Quote me on this: You can't have peripheral vision when it comes to your dreams! Cut out your vision, paste it down, and move to the next tip!

4. Affirm Your Success: You are moving exactly towards what you think. If you want your situation to change, if you want your business to change, start thinking as though things are the way you want them to be. Speak your success into existence. Write down this powerful affirmation and use it every morning as you are starting your successful day. "My business is successful. My profits are overflowing. My clients are happy and waiting to work with me. Money is flowing in from different streams. I am happy. I am healthy. I have clarity in my business. Everything I touch prospers."

5. Focus On 1 Key Project At A Time: Ever heard of S.O.S.? Well yes, it could absolutely stand for Some One Special, but in this case it stands for Shiny Object Syndrome. This means that you are so multi-passionate, so creative and such a visionary that you never complete a project. You are always fascinated or moved by the next brilliant idea or signing up for the next best course, that you forget about the last brilliant thing you started. I challenge you to write out all of your current projects. Now pick ONE to focus on for right now. No one is going to take your idea. You have time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was a successful business. Plus, you don't want to be known as the half-butt boss. You want to give 100% to all of your projects. Which project will you choose to focus on right now?

6. Screw Perfection: So what if your website is janky, or your Facebook page only has 100 likes? Don't let that stop you from running your business. Don't let that stop you from requiring clients to pay you. Don't let that stop you from getting out there. There will never be a perfect business, or a perfect client, or a perfect launch. NEVER. But guess what, there is always another try, a do over if you will. So screw perfection and keep pushing in your dreams!

7. Get An Accountability Partner: One of the best things I could have done in my business was to find someone that I connected with on a business, spiritual and mindset level to keep me in check in my business. She helped me take my motto of no excuses to a whole notha' level. My to-do list turned into "done lists", because I had someone to hold me accountable. Go into your business group on Facebook and write "Hi, I'm looking for a kick-butt accountability partner that's willing to meet often and keep each other accountable". Start there and see how things transform in your business.

8. Trust: Trust the process, trust the confusion, trust yourself. My mantra for 2014 was TRUST. That was huge for me. Trusting that everything would be OK. Trusting that my overwhelm and confusion would give way to clarity and trusting myself, because I always knew more than I thought I did. I encourage you to trust the process that you are in right now. And if you can accept where you are right now, graciously, you will certainly move into your next chapter.

9. Invest In A Clarity Coach: Investing in a coach could take your business from offline to online in a matter of weeks. It could take your confidence straight through the roof, and make way for clarity like you've never imagined. If you need access to a kick-butt clarity coach and accountability partner, sign up for my VIP list. I would be honored to work with you and take you from stuck to unstuck in less than one hour!

10. Take Action: Get in front of your client. If you have an idea, great! Test it, refine it...and if it doesn't work or isn't in alignment with who you are, toss it. But don't quit. Taking action gives you clarity...and when you have clarity you can grow into your next chapter seamlessly.

So what about you? What stage of entrepreneurship are you in right now, and which of these 10 tips can you use today to transition into your Fierce Fearless Freedom? Do you have an "ugly truth" to share? Let's chat below!

If you absolutely love this blog, I have tons more to share over at tianapatrice.com, head on over and sign up for my free newsletter and get the clarity you deserve to take your business to the ultimate level this year!

Cheers To Your Success,
Tiana Patrice