The Goth Back to School Shopping List

So you're a goth.

And you're going back to school pretty soon.

Consume these capitalist goods to become Alpha Goth.

Forgo a backpack and get this coffin shoulder bag. Literature is dead anyway and your books will fit nicely.

"Death In June" tshirt to remind you there's hope.

Everyone knows goths hate milk and are into re-appropriating corporate propaganda.

See also: "Goth Milk?"

Get the pen that writes in your own blood for those class notes.

It's almost as if this laptop skin was made specifically for you and nobody else.

Light one of these up and your test stress will be goth with the wind.

Taking notes isn't goth but your angst has to be written down somewhere.

You're going to need locker decoration. How about a Springbok Skull?

Or just show up with a unicorn skull on your head.

You'll need to stay hydrated for those long tests and it's going to take more than just that goth milk.

But of course your BIGGEST/darkest back to school need is that delicious-looking poison apple for the teacher.

You're now ready for the Goth University.

Good luck on your first day!