01/08/2015 11:22 am ET Updated Mar 10, 2015

Mom Is Sick Today (A Poem)

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Fever, headache, diarrhea
I'm too weak to run and play
You may not wanna hear this, kids
But Mom is sick today

I do not care about your snacks
Or that your poop is gray
All I want is peace and quiet
Because Mom is sick today

Finger paint your bed and toys
Leave every room in disarray
Tomorrow I'll be mad at you
But Mom's too sick today

Pull all the books off of the shelves
Use all my make-up and hair spray
Pee on the dog, I just don't care
Because Mom is sick today

Lock your brother in the closet
Make a diaper wipe bouquet
I just wanna lay in bed
Because Mom is sick today

Ask for anything you want
I'm nauseous and easy to sway
Next week I'll regret everything I said
But Mom is sick today

Enjoy this freedom while you can
I feel like death, please go away
I wish I had a TV nanny
Because, man, I'm sick today

You can find more from Toni Hammer at Is It Bedtime Yet, on Facebook, and on Twitter.