04/12/2013 11:43 am ET Updated Jun 12, 2013

Maybe Guns Are Silly?

I live in New Hampshire, where we live free or die. Seriously. It says that on my license plate. We are not screwing around here. People are really into their guns in this red-neck of the woods, and don't want the government taking them away. They are as attached to their weapons as a baby to their pacifier. We defend our right to bear arms, which is weird because I just want to have regular human arms. And besides, what does cross species genetic-mutation have to do with guns anyway? Yet I don't think it is just the idea of owning a weapon that is the seduction, but more what guns have come to represent in the American psyche.

When the constitution was written, the technology of weaponry was not that advanced. I mean I guess there were cannons, but guns were still a really big deal when it came to combat. If you had a gun, you could defend yourself from invading countries, your neighbor, and even your own government. There was basically a semi level playing field. The symbolic gesture of owning a gun meant you could at any point join a militia to defend your land from invading forces. You could even have trust in the government governing you because there was always the possibility for revolution. That is, if your government became a tyranny you could organize, rise up, and fight for your freedom back.

I think that people are still really attached to this idea. Whether you are a right wing extremist, or a left wing conspiracy theorist who believes we are living in a police state, there are many who feel uncomfortable with the police or the government having guns and the public being disarmed. Okay, I can get that. But do you really think the best weaponry the government has right now is guns??? We live in a country where our military budget is 42% of the entire global military expenditure! The US spends over $1.5 trillion a year on different ways to kill people! Are some assault rifles going to make a shit bit of difference when a drone attacks your living room, or a nuclear bomb goes off in your bathtub?

We are not so much living in a police state, we are living in a police world, and the US military holds all the power. If the American people really wanted to dissent with some guns as their means of defense, the government would laugh at our silliness as they dumped chemical warfare all over our faces.

If people think guns are making them free, then they haven't read the patriot act, or watched any video footage of peaceful protests lately. I feel like the only reason the government is even entertaining the conversation about gun control is because people are impassioned and involved because they don't want any more mass shootings and horrific deaths. And the more the government takes the conversation seriously, the less we will think about the fact that we are completely at their mercy.

Anyone that really thinks holding onto their assault riffle is going to protect them from the government is in such deep denial of the obvious advancements in technology and needs to acknowledge we are no longer living in 1789. And if you want a gun to protect your family, I can understand that, but maybe we should talk to the government about getting some of those drones to do that for us. They could be like pets, that our kids love, but mutilates anyone who threatens them. Awwwwww that is sweet.