For some people, the idea of gaining consent for each aspect of a sexual encounter sounds painfully unsexy, but I believe this is because they're thinking about it like a checklist on a clipboard, rather than as the joy of getting to know and understand their partner on a deep and fundamental level.
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The California state legislature unanimously passed a bill this month requiring universities to redefine their official definitions of consent as an "affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity." The bill's passing is an incredibly needed step in the right direction.
Way too many people seem to think it's funny, or even impossible, for a man to be raped. I'm not sure that it matches the indifference with which we view the rape of women, but the reactions are still disturbing. Too often they even come from gay men, who are ourselves disproportionately subject to sexual violence.
I wondered if we would have laughed if I had been with a man the night before, instead of a woman. I wondered if, limping into the coffee shop, my friend's response would have been awe and respect had I told her of a man who grabbed me too roughly, who ripped my shirt, who left me aching to leave and unsure of how to go.