02/11/2014 06:07 pm ET Updated Apr 13, 2014

Worst Romantic Hotel Fails (PHOTOS)

Get ready: It's that time of year again. As we speak, hotels and resorts around the world are stockpiling their Valentine's Day arsenals, plotting all sorts of ostensibly romantic surprises for their couple guests. Sleeping under the stars... Dinner on the beach... Isn't it romantic? Actually, not so much.

Ever notice how many of those swoon-inducing moments wind up backfiring?

Now, don't get us wrong, we love a good romantic getaway. But if industry love gurus paid closer attention, they'd see we're not batting our lashes -- we're rolling our eyes.

When romance becomes "Romance" and starts feeling forced, simple magic can often turn tragic.

That private dinner on the beach may sound delightful, until you consider the 100-yard hike between the kitchen and your table and the sand flies nipping at your ankles. Listening as your partner whimpers, gasps, and moans during a couples' massage while the strappingly fit masseur grunts in tandem may not be the sexiest way to spend a spa day.

For everything there's a time and place (unless you're talking about serenading musicians, then no, not ever), but what hotels have to learn about actual romance could fill a 500-gallon bubble bath. And we don't mean with rose petals.

We at T+L have decided enough's enough. At the risk of sounding like spoilsports, from surprise-and-delight stalkery to turndown jazz, we've rounded up supposedly romantic traditions that beg for reconsidering.

--Peter Jon Lindberg

See All 11 Worst Romantic Hotel Fails

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Worst Romantic Hotel Fails (PHOTOS)