01/02/2014 07:08 am ET Updated Mar 04, 2014

8 Great Online Dating Tips For Men Only

OK, everyone knows more and more "seniors" are getting into online dating... it's the local dance of the new millennium.

So, you 50-60-70-something guys, here's what not to do -- really, pay attention!

1. Don't invite someone (especially me) to Friday night drinks at one of the city's most stylish hotels, so she thinks, great, I can wear my new dress and stilettos, and turn up in an un-ironed, (I mean really crumpled) short-sleeved, open neck sky blue shirt, jeans and sneakers.

2. Don't mention that you have a little hip problem and need to walk with a stick, then turn up to a lunch date in a motorized scooter because you basically can't walk at all. Not that some people (me) care if you have a disability, just be truthful about it, ok?

3. Don't, on the second date, invite someone (ok, me) to dinner at your place, then hand them a bread knife and make them make the garlic bread the minute they walk in. Especially if they hate cooking.

4. Don't say on your profile you play the sax and guitar unless you play really, really well. Half an hour post dinner non-musical performance is sparklingly less than a good idea.

5. Don't, after dinner, plonk someone down on the sofa and say let's watch some TV, while grabbing their hand. Even if you're over 50, you don't want to hold hands and watch TV on a second date, like nanna and gramps.

6. Don't invite someone (yeh, yeh, me) to lunch then spend the entire two agonizing hours talking at warp speed about yourself, hardly taking a breath, also bagging your ex. Really. Don't do that.

7. Don't text someone at 8 a.m. on a Sunday and say come for breakfast. Some people actually have a life, you know?

8. Just don't.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

7 Reasons You Aren't Having Sex