It's March. You endured Valentine's Day and managed to get through it without feeling sorry for yourself. Your days consist of hanging out with your girlfriends lamenting about their past relationships or listening to your married friends talk about their kids activities. The last few dates you've been on weren't anything to talk about and secretly you're still pining over your last relationship. If you're anything like the other single people out here you're wondering why you're single or what you're doing wrong. After all you're a good person with a lot of great qualities. Sometimes dating is harder than it should be. But don't be discouraged, spring is in the air and with a few tweaks you can have amazing dates and loving relationships.
- Be open. There's nothing better to jump start you than moving out of your comfort zone and doing something different. Try a new dating site or date someone outside of your normal type. Being open will unleash a myriad of dating possibilities if you let go of what you've always done.
- Relax. Be cool. I don't mean play it cool. Don't be uptight and demanding. Let things naturally take its course. If it's meant to be, it will be.
- Don't research. Resist the urge to Google the person, find them on social media or ask around about them. In time you'll find out everything you need to know by asking the right questions, listening and observing how they handle situations.
- Leave your baggage at home. This is not the time for you to spill all of the tea on your ex or to complain about all of the bad dates you've been on. No one wants to date a Debbie Downer or Depressing David.
- Be yourself. Showing up as you authentic self from the beginning will allow the person to decide if they really like you and if you like them. There's nothing worse than having a persons representative show up and months later you find out he's a jerk or even worse that she's crazy.
- Be honest. People make the mistake of telling their dates what they want to hear because they think it will change the person's mind or make them look better. Honesty sets the stage for trust and respect. Be upfront about your intentions and expectations of dating. If you want to be in a long term relationship or if you want to just hook up and have casual sex, give the person the option of making an informed decision. Even if you don't like it, you can at least respect that the person was honest enough to tell you in the beginning.
- Be positive. Dating can have its challenges, but don't have such a negative outlook that you overlook a really great person. So what that your last date was horrible. This one doesn't have to be. Change your mindset and look at the good in the situation. At least you're on a date with someone new and who knows you may end up being a good match.
- Have fun. Please, for the love of all that is good, enjoy yourself! Don't take the date so seriously that you forget how to have fun. This may or may not be the person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with, but enjoy the journey anyway. Life is too short to not have fun.
- Be open to other people setting you up. You're friends know you better than anyone else and if they have a friend that you'd be compatible with, let them provide an introduction. Now, a lot of people don't like doing this because they feel if it doesn't work out then the friend is to blame. Well the reality is that you're two consenting adults. If it doesn't work out then maybe its no ones fault. You just didn't click.
- Consider dating a friend. Who knows you well? Your friends! They've heard you rant about your ex's and know that your kind of crazy is tolerable. They've seen you at your best and worst. Besides you already talk to them all the time. Why not consider a romantic relationship?
- Give online dating a try. These days there are so many different dating sites to experiment with that you don't have to be confined to just one. If you've never tried it, give it a whirl you might just like it. If you're a pro and it's not working for you, maybe switch up your site.
- Stop playing it cool. If you like him, let him know. If you want to call her and talk for hours, then do it. Don't succumb to societal pressures that say, don't text him until he texts you, or don't call her because she'll think you're really into her. These things only feed into the anxiety around dating. Playing it cool may have you miss out on a great potential mate.
- Don't over share. There's a time to tell your life story, but its not in the first few dates. Be honest without over sharing. There's nothing worse then being bombarded with a sad family story or a private revelation that's reserved for people who know each other well. Divulge information as it becomes necessary.
- If you're not into him or her, move on. Don't waste your time or hers. If he doesn't work for you, tell him and keep moving. Don't spend time and energy in situations that don't serve you well. She'll appreciate and respect you more if you tell her you don't want to be with her or you don't see the relationship working out between the two of you. Make sure you communicate this without getting into a long conversation and please, don't ghost on the person. Be mature about the situation.
- Keep trying. Nothing beats a failure but a try. If a date doesn't work out, go out with someone else. Just because a few dates or even a relationship doesn't work out, doesn't mean that there's not someone out there for you.
Consider this your dating rulebook. If you follow just a few of these tips, when spring fever hits, you may just find yourself coupled up. Keep going! Onward and Upward!