Sometimes I have to just ask myself "Why aren't men smarter about showing women how they feel?" I look at the women I know and honestly, we're a pretty predictable lot. It's pretty easy to figure out that we want to feel loved. But so many women feel that their man doesn't show them enough love that I have to wonder why this is so hard for men.
So I asked the most romantic guy I know how he manages to be so good at it. He's just an average guy, but he makes sure the woman he loves knows his feelings for her.
I was surprised at his response. With a shy kind of smile, he said his guy friends ask him the same thing. His friends (and maybe a majority of men) are clueless on how to make their wives and girlfriends happy. I guess it's a pretty common problem.
He gives his friends all the same advice -- "I tell them to watch every episode of "Sex in the City" that they can get their hands on." Then he explained...
Men are practical: Men are much more practical and less frivolous than women are. For example, for a man, a good gift is a ratchet set, a fishing rod, or something to spruce up his car. Men just aren't that thrilled with a bouquet of flowers. They don't understand the point since flowers die. They don't understand because men are practical.
Women are sentimental: Women -- in gifts and in actions -- are less practical and more sentimental. For example, when women go on a picnic with someone they love, they want to spend time together and talk over a romantic bottle of wine. Men go on a picnic to eat the food. And, they're wondering why she would choose an ant-infested park to have the picnic in. Why did she? Because the food is the last thing on the woman's mind... she's focused on time spent with someone she loves.
Romantic men learn a women's mindset: So a romantic man will to be willing to get out of the practical mindset into the sentimental. "You have to understand what romance is from a woman's point of view." was his advice. "This is going to be hard if all you're watching is Die Hard movies. To get into the female mindset, watch Sex in the City."
Romantic men know that the words must be said: Most guys will tell you "My wife knows I love her and I don't need to say it every day." It's as though they think 'It's been stated, it's in the record. We can have the court recorder read it back to prove I've said it'. But, they're wrong. It needs to be said, and even men need to hear that they are loved. Even if it's just a quick "Love ya" at the end of a phone conversation, romantic men say it. And if they're lucky, she'll say it back.
Some words will be your last: But, then he pulled out the big guns. At some point in time the conversation you have with that person you love is going to be the last conversation you ever have with them. We are fragile human beings and you never know when you can lose someone. What do you want that conversation to be? Do you want them to know that they're important to you? Romantic men know how important it is.
At the end of this wonderful conversation, I asked how successful his instruction was with his friends was. He said not very. Sadly, for whatever reasons, they didn't take his recommendations.
Whether his friends understood this or not -- I got it! And I vowed to remember and be as good to my man as he has been to me. And, a "Love ya" at the end of a phone conversation isn't so hard when you think about it.
Let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear your stories and what you did so please visit me at www.FirstClassWoman.com.
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