THE BLOG
04/04/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Punxsutawney Meltdown

PETA demanded this week that the organizers of Pennsylvania's Groundhog Day festival replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robotic stand-in.

A disgruntled Phil has steadfastly refused to abdicate his position and be replaced by what he calls a "animatronic fraud." He has reportedly armed and barricaded himself in his burrow, chittering that he would shoot if he sees "anyone's motherf*cking shadow." Recently fathering a litter of six and with unemployment at an all time high in Pennsylvania, the laid-off rodent would be hard pressed to find a job, let alone one with a premium Health Plan for his brood.

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