10/30/2014 06:26 pm ET Updated Dec 30, 2014

Ghoul Power!

Picking out a Halloween costume can be tough, especially for modern, socially conscious women and womyn. How many times have you found yourself standing in the Super Halloween Emporium looking at row after row of $40 costumes made out of thin tissue paper and toxic glue thinking, "Gee, I'd really like to look like a cheap male fantasy, but isn't there a way I can do that while also promoting Female Empowerment?" Well, my uterus owner, hang on to your rhinestone encrusted broomstick, because now the answer is YES!

Yes, ladies, this year you can look both SEXY and SMART on All Hallow's Eve! Stand up for women's rights while sportin' more boobage than an underage Reno, Nevada Craigslist escort! This Halloween, look like you're turnin' Tricks while you're actually Treatin' womankind!


Choose from:

Smokin' Hot Nuclear Physicist

Sexy Ass Social Worker

Leggy Criminal Rights Attorney

The U.S. Secretary of Skank

Bangin' Body Brenda, the PBS Documentarian

The CEO of Cleavage, Inc.

Dirty Guurll Governor

Trashy Tina the Fulbright Scholar

Horny Human Rights Activist

Vicky Vajayjay, PhD

The Brazilian Waxed Welfare Administrator

Slutty Neurologist (*vibrating stethoscope included)

Barbara Walters

So don't wait! Get your costume today! And show everyone that women can not only be sexy, but smart, professional and accomplished, too.

Ooooh, now that's scary!