THE BLOG
01/21/2015 05:59 pm ET Updated Mar 23, 2015

The 3 Fears That Keep You From Shining Your Brightest (and How to Overcome Them), Part 2

This is a part two of a three-part series.

Are you getting stuck by one of the three fears keeping people playing small? As discussed in part one, the No. 1 fear is being judged. Yet, most people who suffer from this fear judge themselves far more than others judge them!

Overcoming those fears starts with awareness and willingness to be courageously honest with yourself. Let's talk about the next fear.

Fear #2: Fear of abandonment/loss of love
Let's face it, rejection sucks. Our soul loves connection. If you have ever experienced rejection, especially early in your childhood, you know how debilitating this fear can be! This fear is often hidden in layers. It can look like:

  • I'm scared of letting people down and it keeps me paralyzed.
  • I don't want people to think I am selfish.
  • I go along with what others want when it is not in my best interest or my desires.
  • I have to be good.
  • Perfectionism -- often keeping you redoing trying to get it "just so" and never quite getting it there.
  • If I succeed and become bigger than my partner, then what?
  • I have to work harder, stay busy, keep pushing. I don't have time for myself.
  • I have to be all things to all people. I don't want to leave anyone out.

There is a neediness that underlies this fear that drives a search for love and acceptance outside of one's self. That love and acceptance has to start within.

Solution: 1. Every single time you put someone else's needs above yours, you abandon yourself. Would you be willing to take a small chance and put yourself first. Make a list of the things you love to do (and maybe haven't in awhile), want to do, and want to have. I challenge you to try to find 50 items for this list! Need an example? Check this out! You want to have simple as well as big vision items on this list. Every day, challenge yourself to do something on that list. 2. Dance. Dance like you've never danced before. Move, shake, tap into your ancestral tribal dance (we all have one) and loosen up the grip fear is holding on you. Need an inspired playlist? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtwP-qG1zrPFgow6I5-1nmq3I8tgGsRj3

Three things are going to happen when you employee this solution. First, you will start meeting your own needs rather than expecting others to meet them. That will free up the energy that others feel as suffocating. Second, you will start to expand your energy and get it flowing again which opens you to abundance. Third, you will discover hidden richness within you that will attract greatness.

Seriously, can you afford to star stuck in this fear? Will your relationships survive it? It's time to shine. Give it a try for seven days and see what shifts. You can always go back to the old fear at the end of the week. Be sure to check out the third and final fear in our series.