Making fun of dads because they are "pretty much just giant children" is soooooooo 2011. Maybe y'all ain't heard, but dads are getting all sorts of respect lately -- not because they're doing anything different, but because -- ugh -- who didn't want to loosen up the grip a little, amirite?
Buzzfeed didn't get the memo, so they put out a hilarious article titled "24 Reasons Kids Should Never Be Left Alone With Their Dads". And besides some of the photos being genuinely funny with no real gender-specific blame to lather onto dad, it's just kind of, well, you know... phoned in.
But here's the thing: when you beat dads down over and over and make moms distrustful of them (even in jest), all it makes society say is "don't leave your kids alone with dad -- you KNOW what they do!" And then guess who has to deal with the pressure of raising kids, working, and doing their damn thing? Moms. So lay off, kk?
In light of this, I present to you 24 reasons (plus a bonus, you motherlovers) your kids should be left alone with their dads.
1. They're Not Too Cool for Selfies
Because honestly, if a kid silly face will brighten your kid's day, you check your pride and do it.
2. They Make the Coolest Lunch Pack-ins
Look for a Q&A with this dude here soon. Incredible work.
3. They're Not Afraid of Creepy-Crawlies
There's a couple of good "lizard" euphemisms I'll pass up here.
4. They Know Their Way Around a Garden
And teaching a love for eating right!
5. The Best Family Portraits EVAR
6. They'll Be At Every Game
Even if they've got two broken legs, they'll make it there.
7. Family Movies in the Man-Cave
Because it's just a cave if it's not filled with family.
8. They'll Wait Hours to Get You Next to the Trophy
You won't care now, son, but when you're older, it'll be cool to have a pic of three generations next to that thing.
9. Discipline Is Sometimes in Character
Though really, everything BatDad does is in character.
10. Medical/Dental/Vision Insurance is a Number One Priority!
But you know what I mean.
11. They're Into Crafts
And not above making up superheroes.
12. They Will Tell the Hell Out of a Story
Anything to make a bedtime story better.
13. They Beam With Pride
About everything their kids do -- big and small.
14. They Make Great Pillows
And they don't just run to Twitter to complain about it and demand wine.
15. They Aren't Afraid
When their child arrived, they dove right in.
16. They Will Be Your Training Wheels
Until you can go it alone.
17. Seriously, the BEST Lunch Notes
We Q&A'd with this guy! Read it here!
18. They're Not Afraid to Hold You Close
And take you everywhere.
19. They Let Their Kids Play With Their Old Toys
Because you can't take it with you when you're gone.
20. They Will Ride That Ride
Because it means a lot to you, son.
21. They Have Good Advice
Sometimes so good that it ends up in a book.
22. They Have a Conference About Being a Good Dad
And the support there flows. Pic of dad blogger Lorne Jaffe.
23. They Can Show Mercy
From BusyDadBlog: "She said 'aw it's so cute' and proceeded to pet this fish. Of course we had to let it go."
24. They Will Catch You
Not just when you fall, but when you jump.
25. They Honor Their Spouses With Pictures Too
Because if they didn't respect their spouses, why would they be raising a kid with them?!
Your move, Buzzfeed.
Watch Zach discuss this blog post on HuffPost Live.